Lots has changed in the past few years. The biggest being that I got married--to this beautiful man:
From the moment Mark asked me to be his wife, my world shifted. Now I have to stay alive, I remember thinking. No more wishing to be reunited with my mother, who'd passed so many years ago.
And no more room for sadness, I remember feeling. Mom had promised that falling in love was the only antidote for the heartache of grief.
Here I am, Mom! I wanted to shout up to heaven with a big smile. Cured!
Only after -- after the excitement of our engagement, after the stressful wedding planning, after the joyous wedding, after the relaxing honeymoon in Maine, after the let's-do-NOTHING phase that followed -- did I realize that I wasn't yet cured.
Mom and I had started writing a book in 2000. Thirteen years later, with the book half-done, I knew it was time to finish it.
So that's where I've been for the past year. Writing my chapters. Reading my mom's journals. And remembering remembering remembering just everything. To be honest, it's kind of like I've been hanging out with my mom. And with my old high school / college self. In the dreamy land of nostalgia.
I'm proud to tell you that I finished writing our book. All 52,000-something words. It is like birthing a baby that's still gooey and bloody and absolutely beautiful. Ten fingers, ten toes, thirty chapters.
So it's only now that I'm ready to return to you, my dear blog. I hope you'll have me back.
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