Telling Time: Before Sally and After Sally

The finale of "ER" is on tonight. How long has that show been on the air? I wondered today. Well, my mom liked the show, and she passed away 6 1/2 years ago... which means it was on for a few years before that. 10 years, I estimated. (To answer the trivia question, it's 15 years).

But it made me stop and think: Sally's part of my everyday math. Events in my life happened pre-Sally or post-Sally. And the more years that pass, the more of Sally's favorite things pass, too. TV shows end. Her flowered socks that I wear get holey. Photos of us smiling fade.

Stuff is just stuff, though. I'm realizing more and more that I need to forget the material items and tune into my memories. I remember "ER" and "Chicago Hope" started the same year, and my mom often debated which one she liked better. I remember she thought George Clooney was sexy and Noah Wyle had a big nose. I remember she hated that the commercials were always so much louder than the show, and she'd scowl and lower the volume so we could chat.

What quirky qualities do you remember about someone you lost?

What is Sally's Circle?

Hi there!

It's almost midnight on Sunday, but I'm too excited to sleep. This is my first blog, and I'm so happy to share it with you.


My mom, Sally, is the inspiration for this blog. You would've loved Sally. How do I know? EVERYONE loved Sally! She had an enormous smile, the most loving heart, and all she ever wanted to do was sit and chat. In 2000, at age 57, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Most patients live less than 6 months (can you believe that?). My mom was so feisty that she fought for 2 1/2 years. Sadly, she passed away in 2002. I was 20.

Six years later, I'm still here. And, to my surprise, I'm actually pretty happy most of the time. I love my career in writing/editing. Playing drums with my indie-pop band, The Falsies, is a total thrill. And right now I'm obsessed with trying out new recipes in my straight-from-the-'50s slow cooker.

But some days are hard. Holidays get to me. Big decisions make me long for her advice. Family get-togethers feel one chair short. Even tonight, eating at a Thai restaurant with my dad and brother, I missed her chit chat. Dinners are quiet without a mom -- have you ever noticed that?

So... I bet you're wondering why it's called Sally's Circle. I'll tell you.

For my first 20 years, I was in Sally's Circle. Lucky me! I was the proud recipient of her tight-squeeze hugs, sympathetic back rubs, and loving hair strokes. Tonight, I invite you to sit at the circle. I hope by sharing my stories and coping strategies, you might feel the warmth of Sally's love. And I hope you'll share your stories with me, too.

Here's the first thing I want you to know: If it hurts now, someday it won't hurt as badly. I promise.

Thanks for the midnight rendezvous. I'm glad you're here.

Marisa

Photos courtesy of Irina Kipnis